Concerning Behaviours
What do we mean by concerning behaviours?
Dr. Ross Greene, a clinical child psychologist and developer of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach, suggests that concerning behaviors in children are the behaviours a child displays when they are struggling to meet the demands and expectations placed upon them. He emphasizes that these behaviors are not deliberate but stem from lagging skills in areas such as flexibility, adaptability, emotion regulation, frustration tolerance, and problem-solving.
In child psychology, the terms "lucky" and "unlucky" behaviors describe how children’s way of communicating their difficulties or distress impacts how the adults around them respond. This concept, associated with Dr. Ross Greene's work, highlights that children's behaviors are often interpreted differently based on their expression, affecting the support they receive.
Lucky Behaviors
Children exhibiting "lucky" behaviors express their struggles in socially acceptable ways, such as whining, sulking, crying, or withdrawing. These behaviors are typically met with empathy and support from adults. Such children are often perceived as needing comfort, leading to nurturing responses.
Unlucky Behaviors
Sometimes, however, children may exhibit, "unlucky" behaviors which involve more disruptive actions like screaming, swearing, hitting, kicking, or spitting. These expressions of distress are less likely to elicit compassionate responses and may result in punishment or exclusion. Children displaying these behaviors are often misunderstood, with their actions seen as intentional misbehavior rather than signs of underlying challenges.
Implications
This distinction underscores the importance of interpreting all concerning behaviors as signals of unmet needs or lagging skills. By adopting a compassionate and understanding approach, caregivers can better support all children, regardless of how they express their difficulties.